Monday, March 31, 2008
Predicting success based upon Men’s room habits
There is surely a female equivalent to this, but a thought which has been almost in my consciousness until today, was suddenly clarified in such a manner that I feel confident enough to proclaim it here. There is no margin for error based upon sampling size (get your heads out of the gutter if the size you’re thinking of can be measured in inches!). Indeed, this is entirely unscientific, but the correlation is clear to me:
You can tell how successful a man is likely to be by his urinal habits. While mere mortals need a few seconds, or a couple anyway, for the waterworks to turn on, and a period of a few seconds at the other end of the process as the stream slows; for the man destined to be (or already) a high flyer, there is no discernable time from the moment he has unzipped until the moment his neighbour hears the tell-tale sound, and not a moment after the full torrent has ended before he is re-zipping and heading for the sinks. Do they not have little drips to shake off or are such trivialities not worthy of their attention? Either way, you will not catch them staring upwards while they await full eviction.
The thought occurs to me now that they could almost qualify for an express lane of sorts – the executive urinal: maximum stay 10 seconds.
Talking of staring upwards: Has anyone ever thought of placing advertising placards at between 7 and 8 feet up the walls on which urinals are mounted? The word subliminal somehow takes on an almost sinister meaning in this context, but potential advertisers have a truly captive audience who are desperate to focus not only their eyes, but also their attention on anything other than whoever might be standing alongside them. Had there been such an innovation before now, perhaps I would have gone through life never having had the revelation which prompted me to write this!
Viagra Online
You can tell how successful a man is likely to be by his urinal habits. While mere mortals need a few seconds, or a couple anyway, for the waterworks to turn on, and a period of a few seconds at the other end of the process as the stream slows; for the man destined to be (or already) a high flyer, there is no discernable time from the moment he has unzipped until the moment his neighbour hears the tell-tale sound, and not a moment after the full torrent has ended before he is re-zipping and heading for the sinks. Do they not have little drips to shake off or are such trivialities not worthy of their attention? Either way, you will not catch them staring upwards while they await full eviction.
The thought occurs to me now that they could almost qualify for an express lane of sorts – the executive urinal: maximum stay 10 seconds.
Talking of staring upwards: Has anyone ever thought of placing advertising placards at between 7 and 8 feet up the walls on which urinals are mounted? The word subliminal somehow takes on an almost sinister meaning in this context, but potential advertisers have a truly captive audience who are desperate to focus not only their eyes, but also their attention on anything other than whoever might be standing alongside them. Had there been such an innovation before now, perhaps I would have gone through life never having had the revelation which prompted me to write this!
