Saturday, April 26, 2008
More tales from the Chinatown bus
I had a good seat-mate on Friday. The girl in front seemed not to understand that on a full bus, you can't put your seat all the way back. She did that about 15 minutes before our break. When I got back on the bus before her, I adjusted it. And when she tried to push it back again, I was ready for her, and pushed back when she had gone far enough for my liking. So she ended up just about right.
The driver was pathetic and scary. Seemed to have problems holding his lane and also couldn't keep his foot evenly on the accelerator, so even when we were at an even pace, the bus was jerking. And he didn't quite seem to realise that the bus would slow down if he took his foot off the accelerator, so he would break hard at any sign of traffic ahead - even 100 yards ahead. If he stopped the bus 3 feet behind the next vehicle, he needed to accelerate then break, 4 inches at a time until close enough for his liking. He tailgated, switched lanes too much and inexplicably decided to take Northern Boulevard in Queens instead of the BQE which added time to the journey. He could actually jerk to a halt from one mile an hour! Not everyone can do that!
I have to stop watching these guys driving. The other time I really paid attention, the guy was constantly using one of his hands to hold his cell phone and seemed to look away from the road almost as much as he looked at it.
My last few seat mates have not been so good. None quite seemed to have a clue that when their elbow caught something to their right, that was my arm. I know I don’t do this! The first of these was a hyper-active college student who couldn’t sit still, and couldn’t move without it somehow affecting me. And he seemed to feel the constant need to touch his leg and seemed to be fine with touching mine at the same time. Honestly, the last time my leg was touched that much, I was naked and in bed with Susan. That would be 7 months ago now. Wow! Time flies.
The following journey, my choice of seats was the difference between the ideal journey and an awful one. There were two double seats available near the front of the bus. I took the second one, as the seat in front of the other one was leaned too far back. Moments later, someone sat there. Two minutes later, a delightful picture of serene beauty sat next to the guy in front. She spoke briefly and had the sweet (not saccharin) voice that would have women instantly warm to her and men fall in love.
Who sat next to me? A very motherly mother. Her 10 or 11 year old daughter sat across the aisle one row ahead. And it was snack time, so mom dished out food, constantly elbowing me in the process. I decided to ‘be nice’ and let mom and daughter sit next to each other, as much as anything to spare myself and the other nearby passengers the cross aisle chat. The woman I then sat next to was an avid reader. A fast reader. And every time she turned a page, she brushed past me on the way up and elbowed me on the way down. How many people are completely oblivious of where they end and everything or anyone else begins!? Have I just been unlucky?
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The driver was pathetic and scary. Seemed to have problems holding his lane and also couldn't keep his foot evenly on the accelerator, so even when we were at an even pace, the bus was jerking. And he didn't quite seem to realise that the bus would slow down if he took his foot off the accelerator, so he would break hard at any sign of traffic ahead - even 100 yards ahead. If he stopped the bus 3 feet behind the next vehicle, he needed to accelerate then break, 4 inches at a time until close enough for his liking. He tailgated, switched lanes too much and inexplicably decided to take Northern Boulevard in Queens instead of the BQE which added time to the journey. He could actually jerk to a halt from one mile an hour! Not everyone can do that!
I have to stop watching these guys driving. The other time I really paid attention, the guy was constantly using one of his hands to hold his cell phone and seemed to look away from the road almost as much as he looked at it.
My last few seat mates have not been so good. None quite seemed to have a clue that when their elbow caught something to their right, that was my arm. I know I don’t do this! The first of these was a hyper-active college student who couldn’t sit still, and couldn’t move without it somehow affecting me. And he seemed to feel the constant need to touch his leg and seemed to be fine with touching mine at the same time. Honestly, the last time my leg was touched that much, I was naked and in bed with Susan. That would be 7 months ago now. Wow! Time flies.
The following journey, my choice of seats was the difference between the ideal journey and an awful one. There were two double seats available near the front of the bus. I took the second one, as the seat in front of the other one was leaned too far back. Moments later, someone sat there. Two minutes later, a delightful picture of serene beauty sat next to the guy in front. She spoke briefly and had the sweet (not saccharin) voice that would have women instantly warm to her and men fall in love.
Who sat next to me? A very motherly mother. Her 10 or 11 year old daughter sat across the aisle one row ahead. And it was snack time, so mom dished out food, constantly elbowing me in the process. I decided to ‘be nice’ and let mom and daughter sit next to each other, as much as anything to spare myself and the other nearby passengers the cross aisle chat. The woman I then sat next to was an avid reader. A fast reader. And every time she turned a page, she brushed past me on the way up and elbowed me on the way down. How many people are completely oblivious of where they end and everything or anyone else begins!? Have I just been unlucky?
