Scene and heard

I have heard of these cons before, but until 2 weeks ago, had never received one. He claims that I am the only person he has sent the email to, yet refers to me as sir/madam. There was no recipient email address. Apart from these clues, it is so very obviously a con, I can only wonder how anyone could be stupid enough to fall for this?

The subject was "URGENT REPLY NEEDED":

From Mr WILLIAM KABBAH
Chife bill exchange manager,
international bank of africa,(iba)
Attn:- Sir/Madam,
226 76 55 52 80

How are you and how about your family? Hope fine, Meanwhy, I am Mr.WILLIAM KABBAH, the chief bill exchange accountant manager international Bank Of Africa (iba) ouaga,bf West Africa. I am contacting you for anurgent business transaction. There is an account open in this bank in 1999 and since 2001 nobody has operated on this account again. After going through some old files in the records, I discovered that if I do not remit this money out urgently, it would be forfeited fornothing. The owner of this account is Mrs raymond becks, a foreigner, and a miner at Kruger Gold Company, a Geologist by profession and he died since 2000. No other person knows this account or anything concerning the fund, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me aswell thatthis company does not know anything about this account and the money involved is TEN Million United States Dollars $10,000.000.00 Million only. I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money cannot be approved to a local bank here in Burkina Faso, but can only be approved to any foreign account because the money is in United States Dollars and the former owner Mr.RAYMOND BECK is a foreigner too. I know that this message will come to you as surprise as we don't know ourselves before. My dear, be sure that this is a real and genuine business transaction. I only got your contact information from my secretary who operates computer, with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business, considering my position as a public servant, You are the only person that I have contacted you in this business, so please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take immediately. You will only need you to send your private telephone and fax numbers includingthe full details of your account information to be used for the deposit. And I will fly to your country for withdrawal and sharing and for other investment in your kind control, Meanwhile, I am contacting you because of the need to involve a foreigner with foreign account and foreign beneficiary. I need your full co-operation to make this work fine because the management is ready to approve this payment to any foreigner who has correct information of this account, which I will give to you as soon as you indicate your sincerity to co-operate with me, and capability to handlesuch amount in sinceririty ofpurpose and strict/confidence and trust according to my instruction and advice for our mutual benefit because this opportunity may never come again inmy life. I also need a truthful and God fearing person in this business because I don't want to make a mistake so I need your strong assurance and trust.With my position in the office I don't want anything that will jeopardize my job,so I advice that we should make secrecy and confidentiality as our primary working condition, bearing in mind that I am a public servant. I will use my position and influence to effect legal approvals and onward transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance forms of the ministries and foreign exchange department. At the conclusion of this business, you will be giving 35% of the total amount, 60% will be for me, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might have incurred the processof the transfer. I look forward to your earliest reply,Please i will like you to reply me with this address:william_kabbah05@yahoo.com
Yours sincerely,
MR WILLIAM KABBAH

Susan wrote that to me. Is it her slogan originally? This really was madness. The woman cuts off her hair in public when she could easily have done so in the privacy of her own home. The salon where this took place is now offering the hair for auction and expecting more than $1 million!!! They are calling it “the opportunity of a lifetime”! Thrown in for free will be the hair clippers she used, a blue lighter she left at the salon and the can of Red Bull she was drinking at the time. Yuck!! That anyone might have that kind of money to waste is most disturbing when so many people in the world are starving. But the most ridiculous aspect of this episode was when her agent requested that the public respect her privacy as she checked into rehab for a total of one day. I agree that celebrities who seek privacy should be granted it. But not those who seek publicity at all cost and whose reputation is built at least as much on the media circus they create and encourage as any talent they arguably may once have had.

The problem: In order to keep up with growth in demand, running at 10% per annum as of 2002, Iran needs to increase its capacity to generate electricity. According to the Royal Academy of Engineers, when figuring in the cost of dealing with CO2 emissions, nuclear power is supposedly cheaper than any other. http://www.raeng.org.uk/news/publications/list/reports/Cost_Generation_Commentary.pdf
On the other hand, we have the small matter of the leader of the country stating his preference that Israel be wiped off the map and vowing severe retribution against her allies. In my humble opinion, this gives the rest of the world some justifiable cause for concern.

My highly simplistic suggestion? We test the resolve and true aims of the Iranian leadership. We must offer to build power stations in Iran using sources which cannot be turned into the means for making weapons of mass destruction. I hope my cynicism regarding the chances that this offer will be accepted are ill-founded. If I am wrong, the crisis is over. Otherwise, it will be plain to see that the true aims of Ahmedinejad go beyond merely meeting the electricity needs of his country. At which point, the world has a choice. Do we wait for this madman to rain nuclear bombs on Israel and elsewhere, as he surely will do? Does the question need an answer?

Iran insists it has the right to a peaceful energy program. I agree! I don’t believe anyone would object to such a program. But when the stated aim of their President is the destruction of Israel and all people and countries who offer her any support; and when this ‘peaceful’ energy program provides the means for them to achieve their goals, the hypocrisy of their protestations is framed for all to see. Should anyone doubt the high probability that Iran will use their weapons once available, they should look to their history books and newspapers. War is the surest way of deflecting attention from internal unrest, economic problems and/or the unpopularity of a leader or regime.

If this program isn’t stopped – preferably by peaceful means – Israel with all of its Jews, Muslims and Christians, its people on both sides of the divide (and those on the fence) who condone and condemn war, who strive for and shun peace, will be obliterated. How large must the writing on the wall be before it can be seen? How clear must it be before it is understood? Do not doubt this: The world is currently suffering its greatest threat since the Cuba Missile Crisis. The difference this time is that Ahmedinejad is not as mentally stable as Khrushchev. He does not suffer from the ‘weakness’ that might see him back down from a confrontation if his life or that of his people is threatened. He would probably rather die a martyr than live, even if he takes his entire nation and tens of millions of Arabs with him.

A word of caution for those who think that the world might just be a better place without a Middle East problem, or indeed, a Middle East: Nuclear fallout spreads. Sickness and death will not be limited to that region, even if the bombing is - though this is not certain. And if you, your family and friends do survive unscathed, this “I told you so” will ring far louder than any heard before the Second World War, as the devastation will be so very much greater. Iran must not be allowed to gain a nuclear capability. How will we look to future generations? Will we be noted as the one which turned a blind eye to unfolding events that could make the Holocaust a distant second in the list of man-made tragedies?

He’s back! Bruce A. Berman promoting his book and CD, I got here, you can too. These are free while supplies last. They surely will outlast me! A note to anyone who might be considering getting their 'free' copy: This man is so smart, he believes that the worst acted commercial of all time will woo potential customers. Either he ordered so many copies of his product that he is still trying to peddle his not limited enough supplies at least a year after his commercials first appeared, or he is continually re-ordering further (limited) supplies, in which case he is a liar! This is not a good businessman. This is a con man looking for suckers. If he is rich now, it’s only because there’s one born every minute.

I don’t want to offend anyone, particularly not gay men with my true feelings, but do finally want to commit them to writing.

Years ago, before modelling agencies started branding women who were only 20lbs underweight as being too fat, the great majority of men preferred women with at least some curves. My own rule of thumb was that if a woman felt she needed to lose 10-15 lbs, I probably thought she was perfectly proportioned. I don’t believe men’s taste has changed. I know mine hasn’t.

Now, I hear models being blamed as being bad role models for young women. WRONG! Their employers set the standards. If a woman must look as if she needs a month long eating binge in order to become a model, good luck to her if she can turn being sickeningly skinny into a means of making money. I actually watched about 3 minutes of coverage from the recent New York fashion week. It was about all I could stomach!

So who is really to blame? I remain convinced that the fashion industry is run by gay men who, unlike my old friend Thori who loved Claudia Schiffer, want models to look like boys. Few men find them attractive and no woman, young or not so young should seek to lose all vestiges of their femininity by attempting to emulate this nauseating and unhealthy look.

During the current cold spell, I have heard the simile ‘colder than a son of a bitch’ quite a few times. I hadn’t previously thought of sons of bitches being so cold as to bare such a comparison. You learn something every day. Or do you? Could it be that even though a man’s mother is a bitch, that he could actually be a fine Human Being? Isn't it bad enough that he has this awful mother in the first place? Apparently not! He seems doomed by association to be called names and labelled cold. I actually feel sorry for the guy!

Why does The New York Times have to have commercials with actors doing very poor impersonations of real people speaking their own words? Years ago, when I thought I would give extra work a try, I bought a couple of Back Stage magazines. It is or at least was common for some acting jobs to require applicants to be able to ‘do real’. It is (or was) a category in forms for agencies. Some of these actors used to be believable Somehow, the standards have declined!

IDT Penny Saver long distance service: I HATE this commercial! It starts with a really annoying woman doing an awful ‘English’ accent. Does she think all English people make those awful faces and jerky movements when they talk? Do the makers of the commercial think that? She is followed by an Indian woman who obviously doesn’t usually speak with an Indian accent, and a Brazilian man. They all come back at the end of the commercial. The ‘English’ woman manages to become even more annoying; the Indian woman calls her family in India from a ball game. The guy, whose accent had seemed quite authentic, suddenly becomes half American. Between these appearances, we are shown a price list: UK 2 cents a minute; Japan 4 cents and so on. And we are told of a “low” 49 cent connection charge. Low? Who fucking says it’s low!!! So many calls are short for various reasons; this service is only the cheapest available if you talk for over 50 minutes! Buy a Boss card – that runs you a fraction under 3 cents a minute and no connection charge.

Boycott products where commercials treat you as if you are stupid – even if you actually are!

Bulging eyes, weight loss, unsatisfiable appetite and imperviousness to the cold aren’t the only obvious symptoms of Hyper-Thyroidism. To be sure, my already prominent eyes temporarily became a little more so; I became skinnier than I had been since my early 20’s; I would eat until my jaws hurt or I ran out of time and still be hungry again within two hours and I would sweat when others froze. But potentially the most dangerous symptom was anger. This was extreme enough that I would get angry with my kids in an instant, and way too easily. I lost it with other relatives and with professional colleagues. And I learned that ‘saw red’ isn’t just a saying. Two or three times, I got so angry, I could feel the veins pulsing in my temples and I literally saw a red mist descend over my eyes.

My craziest moment was while driving in really treacherous, icy, snowy conditions. I was on my way back from work in my old ’86 Toyota Camry. This car didn’t like snow! A couple of years earlier, in really bad conditions on the Garden State Parkway, I had actually done a 360 when forced to break – not hard, I might add! I was keeping a safe distance from the car in front of me, doing a shade under 20mph. I was shown no such courtesy by the driver behind me. And this annoyed me. I hate tailgaters at the best of times – it is unnecessary, dangerous and moronic. But in treacherous conditions?! I took my foot off the accelerator for a short while and motioned with my hand for the guy to keep his distance. When I sped up, so did he. Plan B: Brake lightly, motion more angrily, slow down for longer. His reaction was the same. He was never more than 5 or 6 feet behind me. Now I have gone 20mph on an Interstate when followed in this manner in good conditions. I once came to a dead stop in the fast lane on the NJ Turnpike when I had my kids in the car. My attitude is, if you hit me at a slow speed, I’ll be able to control my car. But at 70mph, on a busy road, I’ll probably die. But this guy was just too much!

I didn’t have the option of braking sharply to scare the shit out of him. So I stopped the car and jumped out. Picture it! A skinny guy of about 40 (looked less), standing barely 5’7” tall with long dark curly hair, who is bright red in the face, jumps out of his car in a business shirt, top two buttons unfastened; no jacket or coat; and starts screaming – almost spitting at someone who didn’t dare open his window, even though he looked several inches taller than me: “Fucking dickforbrains! If you wanna kill yourself, go find a tree to wrap yourself around! But leave me out of it!!” He looked terrified! After that, he was a good boy!

Today was the coldest that New York City has been for 2 years – 9 degrees Fahrenheit, -13 degrees Centigrade during the morning commute (-10 F/-23 C with the wind chill). I’m one of the lucky ones. My Mum knits a lot of sweaters, and among my collection are two, super warm numbers. Heeding expert advice, I went out in layers – sweater and scarf set, hoodie and overcoat. Didn’t help my feet much!

Not everyone was dressed sensibly. On my commute, I saw a man with a thin overcoat and a business shirt with the top button undone. I couldn’t see if a suit jacket was concealed. At lunchtime, I saw a woman wearing a skirt which barely cleared the bottom of her coat, with neither reaching her knees. Her stockings looked sheer. She actually wore open, summer sandals! The best was as I was leaving the office: A man wearing a business shirt and tie, with no jacket or coat. Absolute madness!

My first thought was that the last guy was a complete idiot – who was he trying to impress?!! Then I remembered that quite a few years ago, I was in a West Orange liquor store on a similar day. Also in there was a young man just arrived from Minneapolis. No surprise he was wearing just a T-shirt and thin jacket. To him, it was almost a spring day! And then there was me! Until my Thyroid Gland was irradiated 9 or 10 years ago, I had Hyper-Thyroidism. For two straight very cold winters, I would go to work with my coat and top shirt button undone. I would walk from the Park & Ride to the Newark City Subway and I would be dripping with sweat by the time I took my seat. People who were all wrapped up and still freezing, looked at me as if I was from another planet!!

One more memory was triggered today. It was either December 1980 or the following month. I was walking near One University Place, which used to be a bit of a meat market type of bar. The temperature had dipped to around zero Fahrenheit. Coming towards me was a young woman who appeared to be wearing shocking pink stockings and a mini skirt. As our paths crossed, I realised – those weren’t stockings, but her bare legs!

This morning, the R Train arrived at Bay Ridge Avenue Station just as I did. I got in a carriage one back from where I usually go – the third, instead of the second, which opens directly by the exit at Rector Street Station, less than 5 minutes walk from my office. There was a poster for ‘My 9’ News, featuring a woman with dazzling white teeth and a really quite hopeless looking man.

At the next stop, 59th Street, I switched carriages and was assaulted with end to end posters of Fox 5’s Good Morning America and the Morning Show, which follows. This featured 2 more couples. From left to right, a man with a clueless look I haven’t seen since Dan Quayle graced our lives. A brief digression for kids who are too young to remember him: You think W is dumb!!!! His partner is a girl next door type with perfect teeth. Next is a woman who has her arms around her partner’s neck and shoulders, her right hand clasping her left, forming a loop. What is noteworthy about her is that her right hand and arm, which are seen in full, in front of her partner, are the same tanned colour as her face make-up; while her left hand and arm look in dire need of a couple of weeks alone in the Caribbean. Pasty!! Last came a man who obviously doesn’t naturally show his teeth when he smiles. The photographer clearly insisted he must show some on this occasion – a mistake! Being of the English persuasion, I do not show my teeth when I smile. I have frequently wondered how so many Americans do this so naturally and so well. I one time looked at myself in the mirror while trying to smile American style. I can tell you, it wasn’t a pretty sight. Quite gruesome, actually! Fortunately, my picture wasn’t being taken so that it can be hung for a million New York City commuters to see!